Ok ladies sit down cause we need to have a momma talk. I’m going to lay this out pretty frankly since we got toddlers taring up the house & not a lot of time to spend reading. Here goes. You ready.
Stop comparing your struggle to theirs.
Stop keeping yourself isolated cause you don’t want to be a burden by asking for prayer.
Stop thinking that your season is easier than theirs when you’re breaking inside.
Like for reals. I hear ALL. THE. TIME. I’m so sorry to bother you, I know you’re really busy, I’m sorry to make you listen to my troubles when you are going through something so much worse, I feel so bad complaining about my life when yours is so much harder…who said my troubles were worse?
Example: In case you haven’t already heard the husband lives 2 hours away during the week. With him gone by Gods grace I work 2 jobs, raise a toddler, have dinner ready the night before, lunches all made on Sunday & on occasion manage to workout. I have people cringe when they thing about going through this season of ours. With super sad eyes they look sympathetically at us, the voice lowers as if talking to an injured animal “how do you do it, you’re such a hard worker”. I look around as if they’re talking to a 90 hour work week single mom of 8. But yes I’ll admit, there are days were I’m saying unkind things to heaven for dragging out this year. There are days my toddler is going to bring me to the very brink of it all with his devout independent spirit (that’s all from me, sorry kid). Yet most days are a victory. Why? Because I was made for this. I absolutely thrive in super strict, same thing every day, minute by minute routine. Y’all if I don’t eat oatmeal between 8am to 8:30am I will forget to take my vitamins. Everything that is designed within me, all my quirks, my excessive amounts of energy that drove my mother insaine (some days it’s a 5 cup day) & every meticulous way of my color coded, post it note obsessed, task lists or I can’t function ways…was all for this season. So while it is hard, it’s really not that bad.
Now, if I were to imagine myself as a mom raising 2 girls all in their tween years, homeschooling anything involving math or science & cooking up dinners that included more than 4 spices I would hide myself in a closet with the pizza man on speed dial while I chuck chocolate at the hormonal monsters that I’d call my kids. Why? Because to me that season of life sounds 8 million times harder than raising one toddler, working two jobs & playing the part of a weekday single parent. Even during his sudden “i’m two”ness.
My point is this. We look at each others seasons, our struggles, everyones trials & make these assumptions that their life must be filled to the brim with pain & suffering. Then we self proclaim ourselves a terrible person for even thinking of reaching out to them as a lifeline during our rough walk through motherhood. We title ourselves a burden, therefor continuing our silent struggle while we smile pretty on the outside. All because what they are going through, sounds worse than any of our days. And so isolation wins.
Ladies. This has GOT to stop. No matter what we are all going through, even if our days are a total crap shoot, we want to be there for one another. Just because I am having a bad day doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there for you. Because I love your heart. I love you. I love Jesus. I want to walk with you through all of you bad days & I know you will be there for me on all of my bad days. This is not just simply what we want, it’s part of our survival. We NEED to walk with each other through this crazy journey of life. For me that means I get to fellowship through messenger, text, phone calls or Skype Monday through Friday. That little adorable gremlin hits the sack at 6:30pm thus shredding my once vibrant social calendar that looked like a rainbow. So while the means in which we fellowship together may not be that glorious women’s retreat where we all drink wine on the beach a few weekends a month, it’s real. It’s raw. It’s honest. Most importantly it exists.
So stop deciding who is having the worse day. If you’d only look up, even through tired eyes, most often you’d see another tired momma smiling back at you with an overwhelming about of love. Though her hands may be busy in the dishes you’ll always see outstretched arms & a warm cup of tea. So let’s go my friend, lay it on me cause I know you’re bottling it up something fierce. Sit down in my beautiful mess & let’s walk together.