Sometimes God knows to give you a verse hours before you need it. After a very long night from an ER trip for asthma, croup, inhalers, steroids & now an allergic reaction all I wanted was sleep. Yet I felt him prompting me. I’ll admit I obeyed to study with dragging heels & a grumbling heart. Finishing just in time for the end of nap time, as the idea of rest vanished. Yet God knows.
This verse is currently my mantra on a hard night of motherhood. Side effects can be a rough combo in a tiny body. Here is why God needed me to drag myself out of bed. That breakdown of the word “still”. It doesn’t mean to stand still physically. It means to loosen your grip. To let go. To open your hands clamped tight with control. We cannot praise with open hands lifted high if they are clenched in our own strength.
So tonight before the battle of wills & grace began, he had already equipped me with his word. It’s hard to demand obedience when the side effects of steroids & stimulants are running full force. Had I simply ignored all of the variables tonight & tried to force rules with my own iron fist I would have lost the battle. I would have missed the moment when your little admits he can’t control himself, but wants to be good. That sweet friends is a moment of glimmering redemption in the midst of a fierce battle. A tiny glimpse of a heart that wants to follow. In that moment, only God could calmed my sweet boy in ways I could not reach. That moment was the fruit of my sacrificed nap.
Sometimes we cannot win the battle. But we’re not supposed to. Sometimes all we are supposed to do is not claim victory, but simply loosen our grip enough to let God move. To give him space to create these incredible opportunities to help mold their little hearts. To know that he is God & our battles are always safe with him. Sometimes we must be still in the midst of the chaos. Here’s to praising tonight with open hands.