How different it beats today than only a few years ago. In years past God told me to quit but I fought him with hands clenched tight in self defined success, pride & determination to make my mark. I blazed a trail that brought recognition, awards & a steady client list. Completely blinded by the give & take of my decisions. I lost myself in a business I forced upon my family claiming that we just had to make it work. That they must support my dreams. My dreams. Not theirs. I neglected myself & my family that became innocent bystanders. I became a stranger in my home. The roommate that lived in the office editing the hours away.
So while sitting in church one day in his loving papa voice he said “it’s time to quit”. I knew. Tears fell heavy. My heart screamed no but I knew he was right. For months I dragged it out until finally the door was shut. It hurt. I cried. Worked through endless emotions. The lies I claimed as truth about my calling. The excuses to run back. God bless my husband for withstanding his workaholic wife as I detoxed from my obsession within the industry.
But here I stand. A new focus. Two vacations planned for the summer. Endless day trips. Evenings with my little. Weekends with my boys. Sunday’s at church. Do I miss it? Ehhhh. Sometimes…but not really. What I felt was a loss of my life, was simply God making room to give me his life. A better life. A family life…and a heart to match.