I’ll never get used to the fear during your asthma attacks. I hate waiting for your meds to work, the seconds feel like hours. The only worse feeling is when they don’t work. To pray a mothers prayer as you struggle to breath is a road I wish on no one. Last night I prayed above all else, that God would keep you safe. He always does. Despite their ability to explain, hidden beneath the croup & asthma attacks your oxygen was fine. I am learning to rest in these moments. To remember that God loves you more than I do & will fight for you.
I am learning that I am equipped to be your mother. That God has given me the instincts & fierce love to fight for you. As your mother I am growing stronger. Even though this road is hard, filled with stress, fear, heartache. I am learning that I am equipped.
God is teaching me no matter the roads, we are chosen to be their mommy’s. Only we can pray the needed prayers, only we can handle the roads before us. Only we can love through the hard storms. It always had to be us as their mothers. If we rest in our abilities as mothers, we will walk in confidence despite the fear.
You are growing everyday my sweet boy. And so am I. And God has us both.