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Demanding Lap Time

  Lately my life has looked like this. We’re going through a phase where he needs me. Not just to be near him but to be with him. He needs to be held, always must have my lap, at dinner wants my arms around him & before bed snuggles as he drifts off to dreamland. There is nothing I can do without hearing “Up, hold, sit here, snuggle, huggie”. We must be touching 90% of the time we are in the same room.

I know there is a difference between need & want. That some will say i’m smothering or creating attachment issues. Yet as I grow in motherhood, I grow in confidence. To them I simply smile & nod without second guessing myself for an instant. There is something deep within us mothers that whispers the needs of their hearts. We can read them at a glance while looking in their eyes. There’s freedoms when we put the world aside to grow that bond between us, the one that will hold tight in later years. Right now he doesn’t need their advice.

He needs comfort from a mom who works a lot, time to establish his sense of security & an abundance of intentional moments. Even when they are so small can they recognize the busy. So as hard as it may be to live in a place of not checking emails, my phone, working, cooking, cleaning…I relish in knowing they’ll still be there in a moment or two. Nothing will leave except the instant he needed me. So for now I sit with a little in my lap, my phone on silent. Simply breathing this in & growing his love.

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