I see your heart.
I see the way in which you it turns, as you say goodbye each morning. Promising you’ll come back because you always do. Holding their sweet faces, memorizing every freckle, every line, every look. I see when you ask for kisses again & again. For huggy after huggy.
Just one more.
You hold a brave face as others ask about your time away, how many hours you must work and deciding it must stand above the littles at home, declaring it your priority. Never asking your story. Your reasons. Their comments and advice always said with good intentions, yet they sting the heart none the less. There is often an assumption that every day you go to work eagerly with only excitement as you walk out that door humming away. And while yes, you treasure your job, your career, your coworkers; while it may be fascinating, intriguing & even enjoyed deeply by you…
Every time is hard.
It’s hard to say good bye every morning when you’d rather say good morning. It’s hard to look in their eyes, promising your return when you’d rather promise an afternoon adventure. It’s hard to type away at the keyboard when you’d rather be building a fort & hiding from a dragon. It’s hard to leave your little heart behind.
So I want you to know sweet mama working away, that I see your sacrifice. While you praise the Lord for the blessings of finances, stability & the ability to provide a better life for them…I see your reasons. Those feelings precious mama are real, they are honest & they are valid. Even though it breaks your heart to walk out that door, you march on. And sometimes that march looks like mornings spent crying in the car, worries you’ll miss every new milestone & writing them lunch box love notes out of fear they will not know you leave because you care. But oh sweet mama, I see you every day. I see that in spite of it all, you march.
And that makes you the best mom.
Please know that with the hard comes an abundance of blessings that would not exist if you were not on this journey. Your time at home becomes intentional, uninterrupted, the memories that keep you going. The world could collapse and your only worry would still be holding your love in your lap as you read just one more story. With daily absence comes the eruption of joyous squeals & tackling hugs upon your return. They will grow to know of provision, hard work & what it means to put another’s life above your own.
So all of you working mamas with torn hearts wanting to be at home. Know that it takes courage to walk a journey not of our will. Believe in the incredible strength that lies within every fiber of your being, how strong you are to walk this path. Draw your endurance from those finger paintings hung by your desk, photos of your reasons why carefully taped to your monitor. Above all have grace for yourself, you are marching out your calling despite your desires. One day your littles will understand that walking out that door every day was one of the greatest ways in which they were loved.
I want you to hear me when I say that you are seen. That someone notices your daily efforts & the depths of your sacrifice. Please know there are other mamas walking this same journey, you are not alone.
I see you in this journey.
I see your heart.
I see you.
And you are the very best mother.