Over the last few years God has been doing a beautiful work in my heart. With each one, I’m learning to lay more & more down in order to open my hands to more blessings. This year started with the most incredible week of prayer & fasting. During that week God gave me amazing visions & the word Rest to be spoken over my life. Most think that Rest is this oh so cool relaxing blessing. For an overly compulsive, ADD, always going, never stopping, check list, control to the max person…this word was like death to me…coupled with a heavy eye roll when I first heard it. Yet just like my often sassy toddler I said fiiiiine….I’ll look it up. Since then I have been studying the hebrew breakdowns of this word for the last 6 months.
During this journey of studying hebrew I have found the two words that will carry with me for all of my days. Growing deeper & deeper within them so that God can be greater in my life. I’ve been planning this tattoo quietly for months upon months. The tattoo reads “Still & Rest” from right to left. The word Still (Rapha) from Psalm 46:10 actually means to drop your hand, to loosen your grip, to show oneself slack…to open your hand in a release of control…and faith. Rest comes from so many verses that have touch my heart. I discovered this version of the word while following Jane Johnson’s study on versions of the word (www.seejanewrite.com). The sweetest finding was Exodus 23:12. I searched for it in my bible & right next to that I had written that this was the sabbath year for Cody & I. God knew these words before I did. He wrote them down before I found them. I especially found my familiar voice in Exodus 33:14 where God promises Moses he will give him rest just before showing him his glory. So often I worry, “but how will I KNOW that you will God?” Faith. Blind faith in his promises of rest. We must learn to rest in the unseen. In his presense. We need to learn to rest the moment we need it, not when all of the tasks are finished. This word Rest (nuwach) means to sit oneself down any where to take rest. My favorite part of this word is that the literal Arab translation means to camel rest. Did you know camals don’t actually lie down when they’re tired? They have to be taught to kneel, to lie down, to rest. Just like me. Because God loves us & so he teaches us.
These words, always my goals, always written on my heart, always the life that I want to chase. Not to give things over to God & then turn to figure out how to get it done just in case. But to fully trust him. To hand everything over, walk away & never worry about it for another moment. I want to be still & rest in God.
The final arrow a reminder of my journey in motherhood. As I learn, I teach by example. Showing the little about honest walks with God. Pointed to my hand as a reminder that one day I’ll draw back my bow & send him into the world.
Huge thanks to Laura English for helping me with the Hebrew, it’s a language I’m so deeply in love with. Thank you to Faith & Mountains for helping me work through this whole thing in the night from across the world. Thank you to Katie at Blue Ox Tattoo for the most amazing line work & lettering, you are so gifted. Thank you to Jane Johnson for allowing God to use the words of your heart to grow thousands in relationship with Christ, the work you do is far beyond your wildest dreams.